Help
by RISVULove
Summary: Calex. Alex is set to be married to Matthew, the father of her eight month old daughter Emily, yet he's never home with her and when he is she feels uncomfortable. When Casey offers her a way out, Alex takes it and goes but its not all plain sailing from there, not when Casey and Alex get together and Matthew shows a darker side in his fight for custody of Emily
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hi everyone, okay just feel I should let you know, I go back to school in a few days and I said I wouldn't write much during school well, I really want to write this story so that changed. Because I'm going back to school updates wont be all that regular and I'm sorry about that but I really do have a drive for this story so I will update as much as I can (and something similar is happening to a friend of mine so I hope I portray the emotions correctly)

Thanks for reading and I hope you'll all bare with me, despite slow-ish updates over the next while! Oh and review if you get the chance? Thank you..

xx

I walk in to the yet again empty house, Emily in my arms and I cant help but sigh

He's not home again.

Then again, its hardly surprising, Matthew is hardly ever home anymore and if he is physically home he isn't mentally, leaving me working and trying to mind Emily. I cannot remember the last time I slept the whole night through, its a joke.

I look at my daughter, wrapped in her blanket in my arms and I cant help but smile, she's nearly eight months old and everyday I'm falling in love with her that little bit more, my angel. She makes the sleepless nights worth it.

I walk to our bedroom, which since Emily was born has basically been my bedroom, he's never here.

To be honest, Matthew's my fiancée and I have his daughter, you'd think he'd try and be here, support me.

I understand long hours, I do, in my line of work I have to but I know he isn't in work all that time, he cant be and the thoughts that go through my head of what he is doing out all night causes the knots to form in my stomach.

I should leave his sorry ass but to be honest, without his financing there is no way I could afford my upkeep, Emily's, keeping the house up and running, food, clothes... I have enough for bills and food, thats it.

I lay Emily into her cot and smile as she doses back asleep

"Goodnight sweetheart" I lightly tuck the blanket around her and walk to my closet, throwing on the closest thing that isn't work clothes which is a baggy black tracksuit bottoms and a black t-shirt, casual, perfect.

I crawl into bed despite feeling quite hungry more concerned about catching some sleep

And eventually I drift off, my last thought of my beautiful baby girl.

xx

Her high pitched screaming cries wake me from my what was deep slumber and I throw back the covers walking over to the cot seeing her face a bright red from crying

"Oh baby" I lift her into my arms, holding her close to my chest and I feel her instantly calm in my arms, her cries turning to smaller sobbing sounds, more like fussing and I sit into the rocking chair by the cot and slowly rock back and forth, letting the motion calm her restlessness, which it does after a while and I'm thankful when she nestles into me, fast asleep

"Theres Mommy's good girl" I coo, slowly standing and placing her into her crib and to my relief she stays fast asleep

I stay watching her for a little while and after about ten minutes hear my stomach growl, realising I hadn't eaten since lunch

I look at my cell, 2am. Well, I'll have a sandwich or something fast

I creep downstairs and when I get to the kitchen I see him, making coffee

"Oh, you're home. How lovely to see you" I say sarcastically and he scowls

"Alex, I said I'd be late"

"Yeah when I'm late its 11pm, 12am at most, but you, you're telling me you couldn't get home before now? You had no chance at all"

"Alex of course I hadn't, of I had I'd have been home-"

"Don't feed me that bullshit! I'm so sick of this Matthew, I-I'm raising Emily alone.. I just cant, I'm too tired Matt, I cant, not anymore"

"I'm sorry honey, I am. I'll try harder, I'll be home, I'll be here for you, for both of you, C'mon, come to bed"

I shake my head "I'm getting something to eat I haven't eaten since lunch"

"Thats not healthy Alex, what'd I tell you about skipping meals-"

"I was that tired I was more concerned about crawling into bed and getting what little sleep I could"

"Oh Alex... I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you"

"I don't care Matt, honestly, that apology means nothing to me right now"

He nods and I begin eating the sandwich I had pieced together since he started talking

"Okay, well, I'm gonna get to bed, I'll see you in a bit Al"

I nod "Sure, whatever"

I eat the sandwich and go out and lay on the couch

I don't want to go up to him, just the feeling of his arms around me, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Instead I lay on the couch and feel myself drift off and I turn and bury my head against the beautiful leather suites, anything's better than his death grip on my side

xx

"Alex? You okay? You look tired?"

I sigh and look up to her "I was up with Emily last night, she was fussing"

"Matthew still not home?"

I've always spoke to her about my problems at home. She caught me crying in the bathrooms one day and I just opened up. Its such a relief to know shes there for me

"No, not until late"

"Alex, why do you stay with that looser? You can do way better than him and don't tell me you love him, last time you said those feelings were long gone"

I feel the tears in my eyes and she obviously notices them too

"Alex, speak to me"

"Casey, I could never survive on my wages, even if he let me keep the house, there'd be bills and groceries and clothes and more bills... I need him"

"Alex, if you were financially comfortable would you leave him?"

I nod and she reaches into her purse taking out her cheque book and I feel my mouth dry up

She's giving me money? No, I cant take money, not her money-

She tears out the cheque and hands it to me

"Fifty thousand dollars?! What the fuck?! Casey! I cant take this!"

"Consider it your Christmas and birthday present, then will you take it?"

"No, I-I'd never be able to pay you back, not that much-"

"I don't want it back, I want you and Emily to get rid of that lowlife and try to take back your life. Alex I know you're strong enough for this"

I stand out of my chair and pull her into my arms

"You'll never know how much this means to me Casey, thank you. Thank you so much"

"Thats okay Alex, just... put it to good use, get him as far away as possible"

"Don't worry, I will"


	2. Chapter 2

"You need help packing his things?" Casey asks me that evening as we walk towards the creche and I shake my head

"I wouldn't want to put you out Case-"

"It isn't. You could pack and I'll sit with Emily its no trouble Al, what are friends for?"

I smile as she links her arm with mine "Thank you Casey, all this, it means so much that you actually want to help me"

"Its no trouble Alex, I just wanna see you happy, you haven't been in a while"

"I know"

We walk in the creche doors and Casey smiles as we see Emily sleeping in the cot

I wave to the child-minder, Kira who smiles back at me and Casey as we leave, Casey carrying Emily

She smiles at me "She looks so much like you Al"

"I always thought she looked like Matthew"

"No, shes all you, shes gorgeous"

Did she mean I'm gorgeous?

I smile "Thank you"

xx

"Alex?!" I hear Matthew's frantic calls and I sigh

Here we go.

"Matt, I'm sorry but I don't want to be with you anymore"

I hear Casey's uneasy cough and I meet her eye, giving her a look as if to say don't worry he wont be here long

"What? Alex! What the hell do you mean! I'm your fiancée-"

"Not anymore Matt..."

"What about Emily?" He sounds hurt and I look to the cot where the girl is sleeping

"You'll have access, you're her father of course you will, I just don't want to be with you anymore"

"Why the hell not!?"

"Because I'm sick of your attitude, you're never around anymore, you never talk to me, I've been raising Emily alone! I'm sick of it. When Casey said she'd help me-"

"So, you are banging her!" He growls at Casey and my eyes widen

"W-What?!" I cut in before Casey can answer

"Well lets face it, you were always pre-occupied during sex, someone else on your mind?"

I blush, maybe once or twice but it was harmless, I have a little crush but it was just harmless thoughts, yeah, just thoughts

"Matt, please, just go. I'll call you about seeing Em, okay?"

He nods and I sigh "Bye Alexandra"

"Bye Matt"

xx

"You okay?" She asks and I sigh

"I am.. I have Emily and you of course"

"You'll always have me Alex, I wanna help"

"I know and without out your support I never could've finally gotten him out"

"I'm happy to help Al, you're my best friend. But Al, I need to ask you something, why did Matt assume we were having sex?"

"I'm not really sure"

"No?"

"Honestly, I have no clue. I was just as shocked to hear that as you"

"So what? You didn't think of me?"

"No, of course not" I lie, I cant tell her, that'd be so weird!

She nods and looks away from me and I catch the look on her face, sort of disappointment?

No, she couldn't be disappointed...

I take a deep breath "Would you like some wine?"

She smiles "I'd love some"

I walk to the kitchen and grab the wine and two glasses and when I walk back in shes gone and I hear Emily crying

I leave the bottle on the table and rush up and when I walk in I see a scene that puts tears in my eyes

Casey is rocking a quietening Emily in her arms, humming softly and the girl looks thoroughly relaxed

I walk up behind her and place my hand on her lower back

"You are amazing" I whisper and she smiles gently

"No, I just have a way with children, I guess"

"You will make a great Mother someday"

She shakes her head "I'd never considered having children"

"Really?"

"Really"

"Wow... I cant believe that, you have such gift and never considered children"

"I am now"

"Yeah? Good. I'm glad, as hard as it is with crying and sleepless nights, the bond you feel with with your child, its the strongest bond you'll ever have with anybody"

"You love her more than anything"

"I do. I'd protect her with my life Casey, from anyone, shes my baby girl"

"I see that in your eyes, the love for her, I saw it when you kicked Matt out. You were only thinking of Emily, weren't you?"

"I'm doing this for her Case, he didn't have us first, we were always a distanced second to his job"

"I'm sorry he was such an ass" she lays the now soundly sleeping girl into her cot and smiles

"Is that wine still on offer?"

I smile and grasp her hand, leading her from the room "Of course"


	3. Chapter 3

"Alllleeex" she groans laughing harder now than before and and I laugh too, then I realise how much shes drank

I've only had one, wanting to stay alert but Casey has had nearly the rest of the bottle

"Al, c-can I tell you a secret?" I smell the alcohol reeking from her breath and realise any secret she tells me now will not be remembered in the morning

"Case, I think you should lie down, try and sleep, you're pretty hammered"

"But Al, I need to tell you something"

"Wait till morning Case, c'mon, you can sleep in my room"

"Can I tell you as w-we walk?" She says as I offer my hand to help her up

I sigh "Case, you might regret saying anything-"

"I-I wont, I just cant tell you when I don't have wine Al"

I bite my lip.. Whats so big she wants to tell me?

Could she be attracted to me? I don't know... I've never thought of a woman in that way but Casey's changed that. I think of her a lot. Being with her, holding her, kissing her.

I've never been with a woman-

"-Alex, I," she hiccups and covers her mouth, a small laugh escaping but then she turns serious and attempts to look me in the eye "Alex, I'm a l-lesbian"

I feel a lightness in my chest... What's that about? Relief?

Relief she's gay?

She looks worried I'm not answering and suddenly turns away "S-Sorry, I-I-"

"-No! Don't! Case, c'mere, I'm not against it. If you're happy, who cares, its your decision. Thank you for telling me. Now, come to bed"

"Your b-bed?"

"You don't want to share a bed? Thats okay-"

"M'kay. Its fine Al, I always w-wanted to sleep with y-you in my arms-s"

I smile to myself as we walk into the room "Okay, well, Emily might wake me but I'll come back to bed after I help her out, okay?"

"M'kay"

xx

"Uuggghhh"

I hear her groan and then she tenses, obviously realising where she is, or more like who she with

"Um... A-Alex?"

I roll over and smile sleepily "Hi, hows the head?"

"Um, not bad, how did I get into your bed?"

"I helped you up, you were pretty hammered Case"

"Oh... I'm sorry, I-I'm supposed to help you not get pissed-"

"Actually Casey, last night was really good. You're funny when you're drunk, we had a good laugh"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Thank you. You want some breakfast?"

"Ugh, no thanks, at least not yet, my stomach mightn't be the best"

I smile and hear Emily stir, I untangle myself from Casey who coughs awkwardly and I walk to the girls cot

"Oh, baby girl, you're awake" I lift her into my arms and she smiles a gummy smile at me as I tickle her side

"I bet you're hungry? Aren't you baby" I coo and she curls into me

I walk over to the bed where Casey is tying up her hair

"How is she?" She asks me and I smile kissing the girls forehead

"She's hungry I'd say, you wanna keep her company while I make up a bottle?"

"I'd love too" she opens her arms and I hand her over the girl

"How are you so upbeat? If I drank nearly a whole bottle of wine in the space of an hour I'd be dying right now"

"Hangovers don't really get me" she smiles "its a gift"

"You have a lot of gifts by the sounds of it"

"It has been said"

I smirk "I bet it has"

She blushes and focuses her attention on Emily and I turn and walk downstairs

Yeah, okay, I have feelings for her..

xx

"Matt, come in"

He sighs when he sees Casey on the couch

"Whats she doing here? Don't you think its a family matter Alexandra"

"I want her here"

"Yeah, I bet you want her" he mumbles but I catch it

"Excuse me? What was that?"

"I said, I bet you want her"

"And if I did? So what? We are here to discuss OUR daughter, nothing else"

"Well maybe I don't like the idea of two dykes raising my daughter"

Casey growls from the couch and I shake my head "Two dykes? Matthew don't be such an insensitive idiot. We aren't together and even if we were, OUR daughter wouldn't be involved in it. Also, you said MY daughter, she knows me more than she knows you Matt, I pick her up in the evenings, see I actually finish work at five so I'll get to see her, you've not been home before 11 since you went back to work"

"Okay, fine. I'll agree, I could've been better but Alex you could've given me a chance"

"I'd given you a chance, every night, I sat alone in the house waiting for you, hoping you'd be here to put Emily down and then when you weren't, night after night, I got bored of it and well, my feelings of love for you turned to disappointment in you and well, I just got to the point where I'd be better without you because I was basically alone anyway so I guess its not that much of a jump. Now, in a few hours, I'm happier and less stressed than I have been in months, so, no you cannot have another chance"

"Alex, I need you to answer one question"

I nod "Okay"

"Have you got feelings for her?" He gestures to Casey and I sigh

"Matt, it doesn't matter if I do or not, what matters is Emily"

"Okay. Fine, how do you suggest we split custody?"

"You have every second weekend and some holiday time"

"Thats it"

"It is until you show me you deserve more time, Matt, she hardly knows you"

"Yeah and giving me every second weekend and some other random weeks is no help!"

"Matt, can we just try this for now?"

"I don't think so! Alex, four days a month, are you joking?!"

"Okay, fine, you get ten days and you can pick them but no more than that"

"How is that fair?!"

"How is it fair that I've been left as a single parent for six months?!" I hiss and he huffs

"Ya know what I have a way of sorting this, I'll see you in court Alex"

I grab his wrist "You'll what?!"

"I'll see you in court. I'm going to fight for my rights, I have more of a right than that, I'm her father"


	4. Chapter 4

"Al, its alright, you know you'll be granted access, he's never around, he works later than you, you've more of a bond with Emily, its an open shut thing. He should've taken your ten days offer, thats pretty reasonable, he wont get that in court"

"I hate the idea of Emily being in his care Case, while he was around I was still doing everything.. He has hardly done a thing for her and now he wants her for more than ten days a month? What the fuck!"

I feel my anger shoot through the roof, I now understand when someone says that their blood is boiling

"Okay, you mightn't like it but Alex he isn't abusive he just put work before you both for a while, I'd imagine he'll be granted some care, whether its every second weekend or one weekend a month, I don't know but I do know it wont be very long and I'll help you the best I can"

"Thank you" I smile and she pats the couch, wordlessly asking me to sit next to her, which I do and she slips her hands into mine, interlocking our fingers

"You're an amazing mother and everyone, including your daughter will know that. The older she gets she'll see how much you do for her, how much you care. He could be granted some access but Alex, it'll be nothing compared to how long you'll have her for, trust me"

"You know just what to say, you really are amazing"

She smiles and brushes my hair to one side "Al, I need to ask you something"

I still as she curls a loose piece of hair around her finger

"Anything" I breathe out and she runs her hand up my neck and rests, cupping my cheek

"Why didn't you answer his question?"

I close my eyes, I knew this was coming "Its none of his business"

She nods "Thats true, its not, but why didn't you just say you didn't like me?"

"B-Because"

"Because?"

"Because, I-I do like you Case, I-I got to thinking over the last few days and well, I sorta realised my feelings for you"

"And?"

"I do really like you"

"Good"

She leans in closer to me and takes my lips into hers. I feel my heart slow its beat, which is a relief from the horrible pounding of before. I'm comfortable with her.

She pulls back and looks me in the eye

"I like you too"

I smile "Well thats a relief. Um, I feel like I should tell you, I've never dated women"

"Good. I'm fine with that Al. Its an honour to be your first"

"What'll we do about Matt?"

"What the whole 'I don't like the idea of two dykes raising my child' thing? Oh Al, pay no attention. He said court, if he decides that and actually uses that phrase to a judge, you know as well as I he will be charged with hate crimes. He'll be in worlds of shit Al and he has no other reason, trust me, this'll all be in your favour"

I squeeze her hand "Thank you"

"Thats okay, now, lets go lie down, I wanna hold you"

I smile and kiss her cheek "Well, that can be arranged"

xx

We're woken by my cell instead of Emily, who of course then cries. Casey hands me my phone and takes care of Emily as I talk

"Alex Cabot"

"Alexandra! Thank God! What the hell are you letting that idiot do!"

I freeze and look to the caller ID

"Liz? What are you talking about"

Liz sighs into the receiver "I'm Emily's godmother, you'd think you'd tell me when Matthew attempts to fight you for full custody-"

"WHAT?!"

"Oh... You didn't know... Alex, I'm sorry-"

"He wants FULL custody? Is he fucking crazy! Liz he cant do this! H-He... Oh God"

Casey walks over, a gurgling Emily in her arms and sits in beside me

"Alex, Matthew wont get full custody, unless there is something substantial against you?"

"Nothing... Oh Liz, whats going to happen? I-I'm not an incompetent mother! I love her, w-why would he want full custody?"

"Alexandra, you need to breathe, relax. He has no reason to take Emily, believe me no judge will grant him full custody, especially when they hear what a deadbeat he is.."

"I'm with Casey" I blurt and Casey smiles at me as Liz laughs

"About damn time"

"About time?" I repeat and Casey laughs beside me and I can't help but laugh too

"Yes Alex, about time. Its obvious she likes you and I always thought you felt the same"

"Okay, I was so blind"

"Yeah, you were" Liv laughs "I take it Matt said something to you about being with her?"

"Yeah, we weren't together at the time though"

"What did he say?"

"I don't like the idea of two dykes raising my daughter"

Liz sighs "What an idiot.. Listen Alexandra I wouldn't mind that. He'll pipe down in court. I better go, I have a case but Alex, please call me when Matthew tells you whats happening, I'd like to support you, and Emily of course"

"Thanks Liz, I really appreciate it. By the way, how did you find out about the whole full custody thing, especially before me?"

"Judges talk. Judge Branning is taking your case and when he saw ADA Alexandra Cabot he knew he had to tell me"

"Judge Branning? I don't know him"

"No? He's a nice man Alex, he's fair. He'll find a solution best for all three of you, believe me. Now, I'll call you later, tell Miss Novak I said hello"

I hear the smile in her voice and I smile too "I will Liz. Speak to you later"

I disconnect the call

"Liz says hi" I smile and Casey hands me Emily who's looking around wide-eyed

"Hello baby" I tickle the girls side and she smiles up at me

Casey runs her hand along my arm "You wanna talk?"

I shake my head "He'll never get it. I know he wont. God Case... even just imagining not having her, it makes me feel sick"

"I know honey, but that wont happen. It wont. How about we go to the park? We'll make a day of it?"

I smile and look to Emily "You like that baby?" as if she knows what I'm saying she smiles at me and Casey laughs

"She is adorable, such a cute little baby"

"I know right? Hey, look, her gums look a little red, you think she's finally teething?"

"All babies are different when it comes to ages of things like that. Maybe, that'd explain her fussing, maybe we should pick up a teething ring on the way home from the park?"

"Good idea Casey, lets do that. We better get dressed"


	5. Chapter 5

I kiss Emily's forehead as I lay her in her playpen, her eyes drawn to the mobile turning above her

I smile and turn on her cd in the room, children's nursery rhymes that I can nearly sing by heart but Emily seems to love so I play it for days on end

I walk into my bedroom and start getting changed and when I'm dressed in a casual tracksuit I walk back into Emily's playroom and see Casey cleaning around the room, singing along with the nursery rhymes

I smile from the doorway and watch her, piling stuffed toys in the corner and when she turns and sees me she smiles shyly

"Are you long there?"

I smirk "A while"

"Oh..."

She blushes and I laugh lightly "You're sweet Case, don't be shy about it"

She lifts Emily from the playpen and I walk over watching her cradle the girl

"She looks so natural with you"

She laughs "You think?"

"I do! And you look very beautiful with your hair like that"

"Its only in a ponytail?"

"Well Casey, I love it. It makes you look very sexy"

"I'll remember that"

"I'd advise that you do"

xx

"Alex, she will. not. stop. crying."

I sigh taking the next teething ring from the freezer and slip it into the grumpy girls mouth

"C'mon baby, I'm running out of rings here. Give her to me Case, I'll see if she'll calm"

She hands over Emily and I rock her as she sobs around the ring in her mouth

I look at her gums, they look very raw, she is definitely teething

"Case, go over to the bottom drawer and see if you can find the babies dose of any pain medication, the poor child must be in agony"

Casey nods, walking over and searching and I keep rocking Emily

"C'mon honey, its okay, we're going to get you something aren't we, oh baby, don't cry, c'mon"

Casey walks over spoon and bottle in hand

"Baby dosage" she quotes off the bottle and I nod

"Thats fine, God, give her some, the poor girl"

Casey pours the medicine onto the spoon and the crying girl eagerly takes the sweet liquid into her sore mouth

I keep rocking her and after around half an hour we notice she's calmed, her wailing cries have turned to sniffles and Casey smiles at me

"See, shes okay

I nod "Thank you"

"For what?" She asks and I smile

"Just being here, there is no way I'd be able to handle this without your support"

"Alex, you are a wonderful mother, don't think less of yourself, shes just in agony, give yourself a break"

I nod "Still. Thanks, C'mon lets try and get her asleep while she's quiet"

We walk upstairs and when shes laid in the cot in the bedroom upstairs I smile as she falls asleep nearly instantly

"Oh thank God" I sigh "Maybe she'll sleep it off now"

Casey slips her hand into mine

"You look tired"

"I am"

"Would you like a massage?"

"More than anything" I smile and she takes my hand

"Come here, let me take care of you"

I smirk and move closer to her, my mouth just by her ear "I really need you to take care of me Casey"

She nearly shivers and after a minute meets my eye "As much as I would love that, we should wait Al, how about we settle for the massage for now?"

I smile, turn her around and pull her into a kiss "Hm, if you say so baby"


	6. Chapter 6

"Alex, sweetheart, you need to come back to bed" she groans, still half asleep

I sigh and run my hand over Emily's forehead a sad smile on my face

"I cant Case"

"You standing there wont make a difference tomorrow, it'll just make you tired"

"I want all the time I can get with her"

"And you will have plenty of time after tomorrow baby, but its 4am, you need to be up at 8am for court and if you fall asleep in court it wont look great"

I smile despite being nervous and I nod, knowing she's right

"Okay, you're right" I walk over and get in beside her and she pulls me into her arms

"Al, tomorrow will be okay. It'll work out, you just need to make it clear to Judge Branning that while Matthew was out what you assume was working you were at home with Em. He'll see how dedicated you are, the love you have for her, he'll do whats right"

I nod "He will. Thanks Case"

"No problem Al, just please sleep. You'll be so tired if you don't"

"M'kay" I feel my eyes shut and then I hear Emily fuss

"You sleep Al, I'll get her"

I nod and as I fall asleep I feel her leave the bed

xx

"See I told you he wouldn't get his way. Full custody, what an idiot"

"Yeah we still have mediation to go through Casey, if he wont agree there we have to go back to court"

"Honey, today woke him up. You saw how the judge was with you, it was clear you were favourited based on your reduced work hours, believe me he'll agree in mediation"

"I just want him to take his ten days a month and spend time with Emily, she needs her father"

"You'd know" she says gently

I nod and she takes my hand "Matthew is alive Al, he'll be there for Emily"

"He wasn't though, he hasn't been since she was born"

"Well, if he really wants to, you need to give him the chance to change that, let him have a relationship with Em"

"He's welcome to a relationship with her, as long as he treats her as well as I do, I wont pack her off to him if he's trying to work and mind her"

"Al, he cannot be that dedicated.. What does he even do?"

"Medicine, he's trying to study for children's nursing"

"Really? Wow.."

"Oh don't make him sound so admirable Casey, his place should've been with me and Emily not off at that fucking hospital. He isn't even fully qualified, they have him in training on the ward with the kids and he was staying until all hours, it was ridiculous"

"Al, I didn't mean to upset you-"

"-I'm just tired, I'm going to go try and sleep"

"You stay in bed, if she cries I'll get it" she offers and I smile, kissing her cheek

"I'm sorry Case, I'm just-"

"You don't need to explain, I understand"

xx

"Al, baby, wake up, I made you some pasta"

I smile and when I open my eyes I see her, looking rather sorry, a tray in her hands

"Hi" she smiles and I pat the bed offering her the place beside me, which she takes and hands me the tray

"Thank you, for the food and ya know... not running away from me"

"Running away?"

"Well I was a real bitch to you and you really didn't deserve it. I am sorry"

She takes my hand "That okay Al, you're stressed"

"I shouldn't take it out on you Casey, c'mere" I pull her into my arms and hug her close

"Thank you for helping and making this pasta, which is really nice by the way"

"Thanks but it was just throw in a pot and boil pasta, nothing extravagant"

"Still, I was hungry and it was edible! And, it even looked edible, which is more than I can say when I cook. God, I make slop most of the time but its nice slop so I eat it"

"Remind me to cook more"

I laugh and kiss her cheek "Was Emily okay?"

"Fussy, I gave her another ring from the freezer and she fell back asleep"

"I'm just happy shes getting teeth to be honest, she was starting to get older and I was beginning to worry"

"All babies are different, they'll do stuff at different ages. Just give her time, trust me, one minute she'll be crawling and next minute it'll be make up and parties and dates-"

"Woah! She's not one yet! No dates! Shes not dating"

"Ever?" She questions, her eyebrow raised and I look over to the cot

"Never"

She laughs "Oh babe, you have plenty of time, don't worry about it"

"Shes not. I wont have some little punk mess with her feelings-"

"Maybe wait and tell her this when shes 15?"

"Kids are daring at 15?!"

"Yeah? Why.. What age did you think they started dating?"

"I dunno...17?" I offer and Casey laughs

"Sure, you keep thinking that" she kisses my cheek "Baby, I need to go home"

I nod, knowing this was coming "Okay"

"I'll get a cab, listen, I can come back in around two hours if you want me here? I'll just pack some stuff up, get a shower, ya know"

"You do know you can shower here right?"

"I know, just, I might as well do it at home while I'm there. So do you want me to sleep here?"

I nod and kiss her cheek "I do, if you want too"

"Of course I do, I'll pack some work clothes, save me rushing home Monday"

I smile "Thank you Casey"

"Thats okay, now I'll see you later"

"Bye. We'll miss you"

"I'll miss you both too"


	7. Chapter 7

The minute she left Emily started crying and she hasn't stopped since.

I've tried everything. Medicine, teething ring, feeding, changing, rocking, there is nothing else I can do! She just wont stop..

I sigh and kiss the girls forehead

"As much as I love you Em, you need to cool it, its getting late baby, c'mon"

I walk to the playroom and turn on her nursery rhymes cd and that works for a couple of minutes and then shes back screaming her little lungs out

Teething is a bitch.

I walk around the play room, holding her against me, gently rocking her and to my relief I hear her call my name from downstairs

"Casey!" I call and she runs up and sees my obvious need of a break

"You thought yesterday was bad? She literally hasn't stopped crying since you left, I've tried everything"

"She could be over tired" she offers and I scoff

"I'm ready to smash my head off the wall"

Casey laughs and I sigh, still rocking the girl, trying to get her to sleep

"Alex, I know its hard but you can do it"

"I hope so"

"C'mon, Alex, shes just going through hell, you'll be able to get her asleep"

"Shes not looking too bad now actually, I'm sure she'll be okay when she stops crying"

"You gave her pain meds?"

"Yep, we need more baby dose by the way"

"You want me to go pick some up?"

"No, it can wait until morning, when she does finally get asleep I wanna hold you"

"I'd really like that" Casey smiles and I finally feel Emily calm in my arms and she clings to me, I've noticed that since the teething, shes clingy

After another twenty minutes she finally slips asleep and I sigh

"Thank God"

I still hold her, despite her being fast asleep now, I want to hold her, comfort her. Shes my daughter, I need her to feel comfortable with me, safe.

Casey runs her hand along my leg

"Whats on your mind Alex?"

I sigh "Just... being away from her"

"You wont be"

"You don't know that Case.."

"Well, he wont get full custody, thats all you need to worry about Al and like I said, it'll be in your favour, you're her mother"

"I cant bare to loose her Casey. I'd be heartbroken-"

"You wont Alex"

"I-I just love her, so much and if anything happens-"

"It wont. Alex, it wont happen. Okay? I wont let him take her from you"

I walk to the bedroom and put Emily into her cot and Casey takes my now free hand

"It will be okay"

I nod "I know... I'm just scared I guess"

"What time do you have to be there tomorrow?"

"9am"

Casey hands me my nightgown "Do you have to take Emily?"

"Oh, I needed to ask you about that, any chance you can come with me and sit with her in the waiting area?"

"You don't even have to ask, of course I will"

"Thank you Case"

"Hey Al, can I ask you something? And will you answer me honestly?"

"O-Of course"

"Do you need me to take leave to help you out with all of this?"

"Leave from work? Casey, no! God, I couldn't ask you too-"

"You didn't. You said you'd answer honestly, do you need me Alex?"

"No, I'm okay Case"

"Really?"

"I'm okay. You need to go to work-"

"I don't if you need me Al"

"As sweet as that is Casey, go to work. Thank you for offering though"

"Thats okay, I just want you to feel supported I guess"

"I do. I know I have you Case, thanks"

"Good, okay. If you do need me when I go back, call, okay?"

"I will"


	8. Chapter 8

I'm lying on the couch that evening when I hear a knock on the door

I walk over, praying its someone who wont keep me long, I'm shattered. When I open it, I see her standing with a frown on her face

"Alexandra! Whats going in with that insufferable man!"

"Mom, hi" I smile and she pulls me into a hug

"Al, whats going on? Liz called me, which I expected from you" she says with a softness in her voice, which is quiet the opposite of the look on her face

I sigh "I'm sorry I never called, I had a lot to work on"

"I understand honey, I do. Can I come in?"

I stand back, letting her walk in by me "Of course, sit down. Would you like a drink?"

"No, I'm okay honey. Listen, sit down with me a minute"

I sit on the couch and she sits beside me and takes my hand "So, wheres this woman of yours?"

My eyes widen "Um..."

"Sweetheart, its alright. I have no problem that you're with a woman, I'm here to help you with Matthew and Emily and of course meet this counsellor of yours"

I laugh "Thanks Mom"

She squeezes my hand "That's why you didn't call wasn't it?"

I nod mutely and she pulls me into a hug "Oh sweetheart, I'm your mother, of course I'll support you, in anything you decide. If you love this woman and this isn't just some rebound for you, then I support you. Where is she?"

"Up with Emily. She's teething and Casey said I should relax"

"She seems sweet"

"She is, come up stairs, see Em and meet Casey. Oh and Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"Casey is not a rebound to me. I really do like her"

"Thats good, I'm glad and by the way I love you Alexandra, you should've called me"

I nod "I know that now"

"Remember that yeah?"

"Of course Mom"

We walk upstairs, and when we walk in Casey is rocking Emily who's half asleep, a teething ring in her mouth

"Case" I whisper from behind her and she turns around and smiles seeing my Mother

"Hi"

Mom smiles "I would shake your hand only you're holding my granddaughter. I'm Charleen Cabot, Alex's Mother"

Casey smiles "I'm Casey Novak, her.." she trails off and I nod

"My girlfriend, Casey's my girlfriend"

"Nice to meet you Casey" Mom walks over and looks at Emily "Look how big shes gotten, Grandma's little angel"

"Do you wanna take her?" Casey offers and Mom nods

"Please, if you don't mind?"

"Of course not" Casey hands her over and I smile as Mom talks to a nearly sleeping Emily and after a minute she places Emily into the cot and turns to me

"You want to tell me whats going on Alex?" She asks and I sigh

"Mom, its a long story"

"Yeah well, I have time" she says and I smile

"Blunt as ever Mom"

"Alexandra, will you please just talk to me about this. I want to hear whats going on in my daughters life"

"I finished with him, obviously and well he isn't happy. Its just spite Mom, he already tried for full custody and he didn't get it. We have mediation tomorrow morning"

"What time?" Mom asks and I sigh

"9am"

"Oh honey, I'm sorry you both cant work this out without all this bother"

"Yeah, well its not like I didn't try. I offered him ten days a month and he wouldn't take it, not my fault" I say defensively and Mom sighs

"And I'm not saying it is your fault Al, of course I'm on your side"

"Sorry" I amend and she smiles

"Thats alright honey, hey listen Al, why don't you go get some sleep? We can keep an eye on Emily"

"You sure?" I ask and Mom nods

"Of course honey, go. I'll call you at around 8am? Leave you some time to get ready"

"Thanks Mom"

"No problem sweetie"

xx

"Alex, you look terrible" Casey takes my hand and I sigh

"I'm scared"

She nods and takes my hand

"I know. Alex, you must be torn up inside but baby, I promise no matter what happens today, we will make damn sure your daughter knows how amazing, sweet, caring, loving her mother is. You will have a lot of good times with Emily as she grows up and you're her Mom! Shes going to come to you about women's problems and relationships, things she'd prefer to talk to with her Mom. She'll always love you because you are her mother, don't let him push you over today, remember what a jerk he is"

"You are so sweet to me"

"I try" she smiles and I laugh

She takes my hand and we look at Mom who's holding a teething ring in for Emily

"Your Mom adores her"

I nod "She always wanted grandchildren, you should've seen her when Emily was born, she was thrilled"

"I bet she was" she brushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear

"Do I look okay?" I ask for the one hundredth time since I put on this outfit and she smiles

"Good enough to eat. I always liked that blazer on you"

I smile "This, really?"

"It makes you look professional, that and the black glasses, Alex one day at the office I swear I was so worked up I thought I'd pass out"

I laugh lightly "So you like the blazer and glasses?"

"Love them"

I move closer to her ear "How about sometime I wear nothing accept them for you? How does that sound?"

"I-I, um, pretty perfect"

"Well then, I'll make a mental note of that"

"Maybe I'll wear my hair up for you" she teases lightly and I smirk

"You bet your ass you will"

"What're the odds?"


	9. Chapter 9

I walk out after three hours, exhausted and dying to see my daughter and as I walk out I feel his hand touch my side

"Alex?"

I turn back "What Matthew?"

"I want us to be civil with each other, please, for Emily"

I look him in the eyes, he isn't joking, he seems to mean it

"Do you honestly mean that?"

"I do Alex, I really want us to be okay"

I sigh and offer my hand "Okay"

He takes my hand into his and smiles "Thank you and Al? I'm sorry I was so cruel to you about seeing Miss Novak, its your business. I really hope you both are happy and she treats you better than I did"

"Honestly? Me too" I turn and walk out the door and when I walk out I see Casey cuddling a sleeping Emily and talking to Mom

I walk over and smile "Its sorted"

"Really?" Mom asks and I nod

"He took his ten days, we just had to discuss some other thing"

"Like?" Mom asks

"Holiday time, Casey"

"Me?" She looks shocked and I nod

"You. You're hopefully going to be a big part of Em's life, I made it clear to him that he isn't able to change that"

She smiles "Thank you"

Mom smiles at me "I'm so proud of you Alexandra, doing this, standing up for your relationship like this"

I smile and Casey squeezes my hand "For the record I'm happy about that too"

I laugh lightly "I guessed you might be. Was she okay" I gesture to Emily and Mom smiles

"She's been fussy, probably missing you"

I take her from Mom and smile at the girl

"Did you miss me baby?" I tickle her side and when she flashes her usually gummy smile I see a tooth at the back of her mouth

"Case, look"

Casey stands and sees what I'm talking about

"Aw, her first tooth"

Mom looks too now and I smile even wider

"My granddaughter has teeth"

I laugh "You were worried too?"

"A little, eight months is a long time"

"It is" Casey agrees and I kiss her cheek

"Thank you for being here, both of you" I look to Mom who takes out her car keys

"You guys wanna go?"

I nod "You ready Case?"

xx

"Alex?"

I turn to Mom and smile "Yeah?"

"Would you and Casey like to go out for dinner this evening?"

"Well, we'll have to eat something, what did you have in mind?"

"No, I mean, the two of you, alone. Sweetheart, you need to go on a date with this woman. So, if you'd like I could have Em at mine, give you two some alone time?"

I smirk "Are you trying to say something Mom?"

"Not at all Al. Its an offer sweetie, if you'd like it?"

"Ya know, I wouldn't mind it Mom, I think its what we need. Thanks Mom" I hug her close and smile

"No problem honey"

xx

"My God, you look beautiful" Casey says as she walks in while I do my hair and I smile

"Thank you"

I turn around and see her hair clipped up and the beautiful tailored suit shes wearing "Wow.."

"You like?"

"Very much, you look very handsome"

I walk over and pull her into me using her collar

"Sexy" I growl and she kisses down my neck

"I cant wait to have you against me" she whispers and I run my hand over her side and down over her ass

"I cant wait to get you to dinner"

"And why's that?"

"Because then after I can get you home" I laugh and kiss her

"We can wait" she says and kisses me again

"I guess we can, I don't like it though, if I could right now Id take you right here-"

"Please, I'm already hot, you need to not finish that sentence"

"Ugh, awkward. It could've been something to think about at dinner"

"Trust me, I'll be thinking about doing things to you at dinner anyway" She slips her hand under my dress and I shiver feeling her fingers on my thighs and then she pulls away

"We have dinner to get to"

"You're such a tease"


	10. Chapter 10

"I want you" she mumbles against my neck and I begin unbuttoning her crisp white shirt

"You're beautiful" I compliment her and she blushes

I run my hand over the back of her neck and toy with her pinned up hair

"Your hair, gorgeous"

"My hair? Really?"

"Oh yeah. Really hot"

"Alex, I-I need you"

"Casey I-I was never-"

"-with a woman?" she kisses me and I smile

"Thats okay?"

"Thats more than okay Al, don't sound so shocked"

"God Case, p-please, I really need to be touched"

"You want me to touch you? Where?"

"Everywhere"

She smiles and runs her hands down my body, over my breasts and down my stomach and then my cell blares

I drop my head against the arm of the chair

"Ugh! Talk about timing"

"Leave it" she kisses me again and I shake my head

"I cant, it could be important" I sit up, reaching from my cell and I see the ID

"Mom? Everything okay?" I hear the break in my voice and Casey kneels up away from me

"She's sick Alexandra"

"Sick? Whats wrong" I sit up and place my hand against Casey's shoulder

"Shes vomiting, its bad. I'll take her to the ER, see if I can get something for her"

"I'll meet you at the hospital, text me where you are Mom"

"Okay honey. I'm sorry to disturb your evening"

"No, i-its okay, I-I just need to see Em"

Casey looks to me as I disconnect the call

"Is she okay?" She asks and I shake my head

"I don't know, Mom says shes vomiting"

"C'mon, lets get the car. Al?"

I look up "Yeah?"

"She'll be okay. Babies get sick. It'll be okay"

"I-I know. I just... I'm scared for her... for us"

She nods and takes my hand "Lets go see her"

xx

"She seems alert" Casey notices and I nod

"She looks better than when we got here" I agree

"And when I was minding her" Mom says

"Its okay Mom" I take her hand "Not your fault"

Mom just hums in reply and I walk over to child's small cot and run my hand across her forehead

"She feels cooler too"

There is a knock in the room door and a doctor walks in and over beside me, a smile on his face

"Miss Cabot I assume" he offers his hand, which I shake

"Yes. Is my daughter alright?"

"She has a stomach virus, babies immune systems aren't fully developed so it makes it easier for them to catch illnesses. She'll be sick for around the next week and she mightn't be herself for a couple of days after that but she'll be fine Ma'am"

"Good, thank you"

"No problem Miss Cabot"

xx

"Al, you do realise you can put Em into her cot" Mom says as I sit on the couch cuddling Emily, who's nearly asleep

I nod "I just want to be here for her, in case"

"Alex, you are there for her"

"I should've been with her when she was first sick"

"Its not like she was lying in a cot alone Al, I had her"

"No I know Mom.. I get that. I just feel bad"

"Alexandra, you are a wonderful Mother. An incredible Mother"

"Well I had an exceptional role model"

Mom flashes me a smile "Alex, you need some time for you and Casey too, I offered to take Em, its not that you made me look after her"

"I suppose.." we're quiet for a minute and I look to her "So, its," I look to the clock "4am, why are you awake?" I ask and she sighs

"Just couldn't sleep"

"I obviously know that, why?"

"Today would've been... um.."

I look to the Callander on my phone and I realise why she cant sleep "Oh Mom... I'm so sorry, I completely forgot. Are you okay?"

"Are you? It wasn't just me Al"

"I know. But you knew him more than I did.. You miss him?"

"Everyday"

I smile sadly "I wish I could remember him more"

"You adored your father Al and he adored you, I see how Emily is with you, the light in her eyes when you hold her, its the same light you had with your father and I couldn't be happier to see that bond between you"

I smile sadly at Mom and look down at Emily "She needs both her parents, doesn't she?"

"She has both her parents Al, as bad as Matthew is, he seems to be someway dedicated to her"

"I want him to bond with her, really bond with her. She deserves a father"

"You did too" Mom runs her hand through my hair

"I had him. Maybe not for long but I was luckier than a lot of kids"

"Can you believe its been 27 years?" She asks and I shake my head

"Time really has gone by quickly"

"I feel like it was just yesterday I told your Dad I was pregnant with you. Time flies when you have children, you'll see that with her"

I smile and feel the tears pool in my eyes "I wish he could've met her"

"Me too Al"

I lay Emily into her chair and thankfully she doesn't stir

I sit back beside Mom, closer this time and she takes my hand

"Whats bothering you Al?"

"How could you always tell?"

"I'm your Mom, I can tell Al"

"Mom, do you think Dad would've minded?"

"Minded what honey?"

"Me being with Casey"

She smiles and squeezes my hand "Baby, believe me, he wouldn't have cared. He, like I, would just want you to be happy"

She wipes the tears going down my cheeks "I was scared you'd disagree with it"

"Thats why you should've just called me, I could never want you to be with a man if he truly didn't make you happy Alexandra. If Casey makes you happy, which I can see she does, well how could I disagree?"

"Ya know Mom, she really does make me happy"

"I know she does. You look at her the same way I looked at your Father"

"Yeah?"

She smiles and pats her lap and I lay my head in her lap and curl into myself like I did when I had a problem as a kid

"Yeah. Trust me Alex, I see it in you. I see so much of me in you and so much of you in Emily, I guess Cabot is the dominant gene"

"I want Emily to have Matt"

"Only if he deserves her"

"Its not her fault if he's an ass. Well for now, I'll have faith in him. Faith he will pull himself together and take his responsibility as a Father"

"And even if he doesn't and he proves again to be as big an ass as he was, she'll still have two parents who love her"

"Casey?" I ask, checking her reference and she nods

"Casey, you should've seen her today while you were in mediation, she has so much love for that girl"

"I've seen her already, after she stayed here first, she was singing to Emily trying to get her to sleep, I swear it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen"

"You need to stay with her Al, shes the best relationship you've had"

"Even better that the 'child prodigy' Garret?"

"I did not idolise Garret" Mom laughs and I smirk

"Oh Mom, you adored that boy. I swear it was crazy, 'oh Garret, I'm so happy you're with Ally', 'Garret, you are such a bright young man getting into Medical School'" I laugh doing my impersonation of her and Mom laughs too

"I was trying to be nice Alex"

"I need to thank you Mom, you always were so great to me. Everything you did, it was always putting me first. Even now, you do everything in my best interests. As amazing as that was and still is, I think you need to focus on you now"

"Al, you're my daughter-"

"I know I am but still, you have a life too Mom"

"You and your family are my life honey"

"But we shouldn't just have to be, Mom, don't you think you should move on?"

"Move on?"

"From Daddy, do you not want to be happy?"

"I am happy"

"Mom, its been 27 years, I understand when I was in the house maybe you didn't want to date but now I have my own life, you deserve a life too"

She toys with my hair and after a minute of silence she sighs "Alex, you're right, I probably should move on but.."

"What Mom?"

"I still love your Father, very much. I couldn't imagine being with anyone else and feeling like I do about him"

"You could at least try? I want you to be happy, really happy"

"Thank you sweetheart" she kisses my temple "You should go upstairs, put Emily in her cot and lie with Casey"

"I doubt I'll sleep"

"Still, at least you can hold her"

I sit up and nod "Thanks Mom, for being here and talking. It really helped" I hug her close and she smiles as we pull apart

"I love you Alex"

"Love you too Mom"


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Thank you for all the reviews they really encourage writing. Please keep them up! By the way, if you have any plot suggestions for this or another new story pm me or review and let me know, for some reason my ideas are lacking lately!

Thank you!

xx

Casey wraps me in her arms "What are you thinking about?"

"What?" I look back at her and she smiles

"Whats on your mind?"

"Nothing.."

"Tomorrow is his first day with Em.. Is that it?"

I sigh "I just want him to be there for her. She needs her father"

"I'm sure he'll do his best Al"

"Yeah HIS best. I can see his 'best' being my 'less than average', shes his daughter he should try"

"Wait until tomorrow Al and after tomorrow if he's less than average you can lecture him on trying"

"Okay" I sigh and Casey starts rubbing my shoulders

"Alex, you need to calm down. I know you're expecting the worst but sweetheart, it'll be okay. No matter what happens, we'll handle it"

"Casey, tomorrow night can we go out?"

"Two dates in one week? You know how to treat a woman don't you?"

I smile and run my hand along her leg "Last time was cut short, I just want an uninterrupted night with you"

"Well, I think I'll like that" she smiles and I kiss her cheek

"Me too"

xx

"Oh Al, its okay" Casey wipes my tears and I sigh into her

"I shouldn't be crying, I'm okay, c'mon start driving again"

"No" she says softly and she slips her hand into mine "Its okay that you're upset Al, you just handed over your daughter"

"Yeah to her Father not a murderer"

Casey smiles and kisses me "She'll be safe, you'll see her again Friday, at least he's not taking the ten days all together"

"Its the longest I've been away from her"

"And its going to be hard Al, of course it will and its okay to be upset but it'll be okay. Five days. Five days and you'll see her again"

"Thanks Case" I squeeze her hand "C'mon, drive. We'll go home, order in, watch a movie. Ya know, nice relaxing things"

She smiles and kisses my cheek "Okay baby, that sounds perfect. Oh yeah and you have to call your Mom tonight"

"Oh, thanks for reminding me" I smile and she hands me her phone

"I have free calls, if you wanna call"

I nod and slip her phone into my purse "Thanks, I'll call when we get home"

xx

"Hi Mom"

"Al! You handed her over?" She asks and I sigh

"Yeah"

"You okay?"

"Not bad"

"Alex, don't think you can lie over the phone. Are you actually feeling any better at all now?"

"Yeah, Casey talked to me for a while. She really helped"

"Good. its good to know you're okay"

"So, why did you want me to call?" I ask laying on the bed and I hear the smile in Mom's voice

"I took your advice"

"Advice? I have so much good advice you'd need to narrow that down"

She laughs and I smile "I have a date Alexandra"

"Good" I smile "With who?"

"Robert Davids, he's your Aunt Marie's friend, she set us up"

"A blind date, wow Mom, I'm glad. You deserve to be happy"

"Thanks honey, I just thought I'd let you know and see how you were feeling"

"So, whens the big date?"

"Tomorrow"

"Well, you don't wait around do ya?"

"You're right, I should move on sweetheart"

"I'm happy for you Mom. I really am"

"Thank you Alexandra. Anyway, I'll call you tomorrow"

"Sure. Thanks for telling me Mom"

She disconnects the call and I smile

Well some of my advise finally worked!

xx

Ugh. I need to turn down the heat in here the sweat is thumping from me and my head is starting to spin

"C-Case? Are you warm?"

She looks over to me and I feel her cool hand against my clammy skin and she hums

"Sweetie, I think you're coming down with the virus Emma had"

"Ugh..." I moan and she lifts me into her arms

"C'mon, I'll take you to bed Al" she carries me upstairs and lays me on the bed and after a minute sits beside me, placing a cool cloth on my forehead

"Al, I'm going to get you some aspirin and then you should try and sleep, you might sleep it off"

I nod and she runs her hand along my side "I'll be back in a sec"

I feel my eyes slip shut as I hear the door close with a click and I pull the heavy duvet up over my now chilled body

Well, once Emily caught it I was bound to catch it too. Damn immune system.


	12. Chapter 12

He smiles at me as I take Emily into my arms

"She looks okay?" I ask and I hear Casey laugh behind me and Matthew scowls

"What? You think I wasn't going to mind her? Shes my daughter Al"

I nod "Sorry. I just.."

"I understand, after how I treated you, both of you. Of course you'll be skeptical"

I smile at Emily and kiss her forehead "Well Matt, thank you. Anyway, when do you want your next five days?"

"I can get off work next week if that suits?"

"Yeah t-thats perfect Matt"

"Wow, Alex, seriously, dial down the surprise" He says and Casey takes Emily into her arms

Matt smiles and watches Casey play with Emily

"Hey Al, can I talk to you over here?"

He gestures away from Casey and I sigh

"Why?"

"Alex. Please"

I nod and walk over and when we're out of Casey's earshot he laughs lightly

"You know, as much as I bitched about you two Al, I have to say she is such a great woman and a wonderful Mother to Em"

I smile "She is, she is amazing"

"I'm sorry I was such an ass to you, you didn't deserve that. Any of it. I really am so sorry"

"Matt, really its okay. I get it"

"You don't. Alex I was such a bastard to you. I'm so sorry"

"Hey. Its okay. Maybe it was for the best anyway, I have Casey and well you, you'll find someone Matt, someone who you really love, we were in love but... it just faded, but it wont not when you find her, someone so perfect, who knows you so well, you'll love her so much you'll know it wont fade, never. You'll just know Matt"

He nods "You love her"

I smile "I do" I watch Casey rock Emily and Matt touches my shoulder

"I'm happy for you Alex and I'll try my best not to mess you up, ya know, make custody and stuff easy"

"I appreciate that Matt. Same here"

xx

I kiss down her jaw

"We don't have long, she'll wake for her feed soon"

"God, if we didn't have long why did you tease me in the shower earlier?"

"You were naked and wet, what did you want me to do?"

"Restrain from fucking me against the tiles?"

"Ugh! Casey, don't use language like that" I feel myself drip and she moans against my neck

"Oh baby, does dirty talk get you off?" She teases as she runs her hands under the waistband of my jeans

"I-It does, a-a little"

"Yeah?" She slips under my panties and lightly fingers my folds "What if I told you while you were downstairs I touched myself"

"Oh Christ Casey!" I moan "What did you think of?" I breathe out and she pushes into me

"This. Using my fingers to fuck you, making you cum on my hand. Oh Al, you're drenched, much wetter than I imagined"

"I need to cum"

"You need to cum? Oh Al" she purrs as she nuzzles against me "Al, babe," she rubs my clit harder, the pounding matching my racing heartbeat and I cant help but moan "Cum baby. Cum. Get off for me"

I want to release, I need too but I just cant "Ugh! Casey! I need to feel you!"

"Well touch me then, touch me Alex. I need you, I need you like I needed you against the tiles. Make me cum, hard Alex"

She pulls me closer to her and she actually growls in my ear

"Since when did you need me to cum first?"

"I-I don't know. I just cant, not without you, not tonight"

She smiles and crashes her lips against mine and after we pull apart she smirks

"More Alexandra, I need more of you, please, touch me"

I yank her boxers off and kiss my way back up her thighs with an urgency I'm not sure I've felt before

"C-Case, I'm going to need you to touch me, somewhere, I don't care where"

She runs her hands through my hair and pulls me against her centre

"You are going to finish me Alexandra. Hurry"

I flick my tongue against her clit, making her hips jerk and I smile into her folds

"Casey, tell me what to do. I want you to fly, what can I do to make you fly?"

"J-Just eat me, please"

I use my mouth on her and after several minutes of panting, moaning, screaming my name she finishes. She finishes and before I even have times to pull away from her shes flipping me over.

I'm under her and we're kissing again when I feel her hand against me

"Are you ready now?"

I nod and she pushes into me again, this time it feels amazing, perfect

"Oh Casey. Yes!"

She moves faster against me and I moan "I-I need to cum"

"That sounds more like it" she smirks against me and I grind against her

"Oh God Case, please! I love you"

I freeze but she doesn't, she keeps moving her fingers and after a minute I finish

"Umm"

I roll over and stare at the celling and after a minute she takes my hand

"I love you too Alex, so much"

I shake my head "You don't have to- I mean, I-I... Its fast"

"Its okay Alex. I love you"

I roll over and face her and she smiles at me "I do love you"

I nod "I love you too"


	13. Chapter 13

**1 year later**

"Mom! Hi" I smile kissing the older woman's cheek

"Robert!" He pulls me into a hug and I pat his back "Nice to see you"

"Nice to see you too Alexandra"

"Its been over a year Rob, I think Alex will suffice"

"-Alexandra!" Casey calls from the kitchen and Robert smirks at me, a questioning smirk and I shrug

"She can call me whatever she wants"

"That cause shes doing her" Mom laughs as I rush to the kitchen, a blush on my cheeks

"What!" I hiss walking into the kitchen and before I even know shes there she has me against the door, her tongue in my mouth

After a minute I push her back "Matt'll be here-"

"They can manage Em for a few minutes Al, I need you"

"Need me? Wow.. I would've thought this morning would've been sufficient-"

"Are you joking? I always need you Alex"

"And I always need you"

"Hey can I ask you something?" She asks me and I nod

"You know you can. Whats up?"

"Do you want more kids?"

"More kids? Um... To be honest, I never thought about that.. Why?"

"I was just wondering. I'd like another baby with you"

"Another?"

"Emily.. Do I have to remind you of our daughter?"

I laugh lightly and shake my head "No, I just... Shes our daughter. In all the time we've been together you've never called her ours. I-Its so good to hear. God.."

I smile as she wipes my tears

"Oh honey, don't cry"

"I'm not upset, i-its joy. Happy" I sigh "Wow, I'm just so happy"

"I'm glad I make you happy"

"You and Em and Mom, my three most important ladies"

The doorbell rings and I smile "I'll get it. You can 'need me' later too"

"I guess I can" she smirks and I slap her ass

"Plate up dinner"

"Thats abuse" she jokes and I smile

"Oh please, it was a tap-"

The doorbell again

"Yes! I'm coming"

"You're not but later you will be"

"Stop" I warn and she smirks and guides me to the door

"Get our daughter"

I open the door and see Matt carrying a smiling Emma "Mommy!" She shrieks and I smile

"Hello baby!"

Matt hands her over and I tickle the girls side and she wriggles away from me

"Mommy! No tickles!"

I kiss her forehead "Okay baby"

Matt smiles at us "You are so close to her"

"She asked for you Monday after play group"

"Really? Why?"

"She missed you I guess"

"Well.." He trails off "See you in two weeks-"

"Hey, um, we're having dinner, why don't you eat with us? I'd love to have you and I'm sure Emily would too"

"Are you sure Alex?"

I nod "I insist, c'mon Matt"

xx

I watch Emily sleep in her room, which is the old playroom and I cant help but smile

She looks so at peace.

After around ten minutes I feel Casey's arms around me

"Whats on your mind?"

"Nothin'"

"You watch her when you're stressed or thinking too much, don't lie"

"I thought about what you said earlier"

"I said a lot? What in particular are you thinking of?"

"Us, having another baby"

"Oh.. And?" She rests her hands on my stomach and I smile

"I'd love to. I'd love to have your child Casey"

"You sure?"

"Very, Very sure. You just, need to give me like a month to prepare myself"

"Why?"

"Because, I need to catch up on sleep before we introduce another screaming baby"

She laughs "Yeah, I agree actually. Hey, um, I'm sorry to hear about your Mom"

I nod "Yeah me too"

"She said they can do chemo.."

"Yeah but its still Cancer"

"Alex, she'll be okay"

I turn around facing her and she pulls me into her

"What if its not okay? What if I end up loosing her too?" I ask after a minute and she runs her hand through my hair

"They've caught it early enough Al. You heard your Mom, she said the doctors say its the best possible situation"

"Still, its Cancer Casey. Cancer! She doesn't deserve it! She was so good to me, always put me first and when everything starts coming together, this fucks it up"

"Did Robert leave her?"

"No but-"

"No, no buts Alex. They walked out of here hand-in-hand. He loves her just as much as we do and sure, he's scared, we all are but we need to believe in modern medicine, believe in miracles. Just believe she'll be okay"

"Okay" I sigh and she kisses my cheek

"Come back to bed, I want to hold you"

"I need you to hold me Casey. I'm so scared of all of it. Trying for the baby, Mom.. I'm so scared and I cant stop it"

"Well, let me at least try, c'mon baby"

She leads my back to our bedroom and I slip into bed as she turns out the lights

"Listen, its okay to be scared. And scream and cry, I'll be here Alex. I'll hold you and love you, even when its tough"

"I need Mom to be okay"

She nods and I move even closer to her "I know you do sweetheart. When is her appointment?"

"Thursday"

"How about I go with you? I'll hold your hand while we wait to hear"

"I love you, so much Casey"

"Love you too Al, now try and sleep"

xx

AN: The End. Hope you all liked the story! And just to let you know Im going to start a (hopefully) rather long Calex one shot that I'd hope you'd all read. It'll be posted some time in the next week so please keep an eye out for it! Thank you!


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